Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
