These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry about my life...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
