Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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