i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
