Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
