i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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