Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
