its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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