I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
