her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
