i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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