She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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