So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
