its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
