so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
