What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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