I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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