I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
