He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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