I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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