I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
