STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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