i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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