White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
