So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
