Do you still have your period?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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