Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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