Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
