Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
