Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
