Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
