So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
