Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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