direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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