"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
