Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
