I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
