Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize