You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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