My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
