i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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