At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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