Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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