Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
