Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
