Reggie can tackle my bush.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
