we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
