I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
