sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
