did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
