I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
