There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
40s are totally the cure
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize