I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
