You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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