Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
